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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26589748">when spirit meets body</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lethargy/pseuds/lethargy'>lethargy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), Coming Out, Future Fic, Getting Together, M/M, POV Zuko (Avatar), Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:20:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26589748</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lethargy/pseuds/lethargy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>OK, so Zuko probably does know why Aang and Katara are here. He had, perhaps, been a tad dramatic in his letters to inform each of them that Mai had—there really was no other word for it—dumped him. </p><p>Or: Aang and Zuko are each other's breakup calls. But it's a little more complicated than that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Aang/Zuko (Avatar), Katara &amp; Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang &amp; Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>172</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've been craving more Zuko/Aang fic for years—the pairing seems so obvious to me, though maybe I'm just still Drarry trash—and there are some really good ones out there already, but I still want MORE.</p><p>I've always pictured Aang growing up to be queer, once they all got old enough to understand sex, so that's basically what this is. Also, I'm playing it fast and loose with the canon post-ATLA—I never read the comics, so this is my best guess based on a cursory glance at the fan wiki. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u"> <em>Age 20</em> </span>
</p><p>Zuko wakes up to the sensation of hair tickling his face.</p><p>He fantasizes, briefly, about firing whoever it was that opened his window and let in the draft. Probably Tomi, or Zin—they were always sneaking in to tidy up his room. No matter how many times Zuko insisted he could clean up after himself, they never seemed to quite believe him. But it must have been one of them, because Zuko keeps his window firmly shut, for this exact reason. </p><p>(He would never <em>actually </em>fire anyone over the mistake. He’s painfully aware of the person he used to be, and how easily he could become that person again. But sometimes, when he’s sleep-deprived, he slips back into old habits. Or at least daydreams about them.)</p><p>The wind on his face is growing stronger. Zuko frowns when he realizes it’s blowing from the wrong direction to be coming from his window. He opens his eyes. </p><p>The Avatar is sitting in his chair, a wide grin on his face, blowing air directly in his face. </p><p>“What the fuck.”</p><p>“Zuko! Great, you’re up!” </p><p>Aang jumps off the chair and stretches. Zuko notes that Aang is at least a foot taller than the last time he saw him. It’s weird.</p><p>“I’m up because you were blowing air on my face to wake me up.”</p><p>Zuko sits up and gathers his ridiculously expensive silk duvet close to his chest. He suddenly feels self-conscious about the atrocious state of his hair and his lack of proper clothing. He and Aang have been through a lot together, sure. But he’s still the Fire Lord. He rarely interacts with anyone without his royal robes and crown, much less in his underwear. </p><p>“Aang. What are you doing in my room?”</p><p>“Katara said I should let you sleep, but she also said it would be rude to help ourselves to your food,” Aang says, as if that explains anything at all. “I figured this was a compromise. But seriously, I’m starving, so come downstairs and show me where you keep the food in this humongous palace.”</p><p>He tosses Zuko his favorite bathrobe.  Zuko catches it automatically. “You probably shouldn’t come downstairs naked, though, since you’re the Fire Lord and all.” With that, he bounces out of the room. </p><p>Zuko blinks. He looks down at the robe, and then out of his window. He realizes, with a spike of shame, that the position of the sun means he’s slept to nearly mid-day. No wonder Aang woke him. </p><p>He tosses aside the bathrobe and opts for a set of casual robes instead. He and Aang may be close, but this is still a visit from the Avatar, and he is still a world leader. Some level decorum should be maintained. </p><p>He makes his way down to the dining area, where Aang and Katara are waiting patiently. Well, Katara is waiting patiently. Aang is testing how far he can lean back in one of Zuko’s royal chairs, air-bending himself back to safety every time he goes too far. When he sees Zuko, he grins.</p><p>“His Holy Fieryness is awake!”</p><p>Zuko sighs, he can’t completely suppress his smile. The kid just brings out a happy side of him, always has. (Well. Maybe not<em> always. </em>) He looks to Katara.</p><p>“I keep waiting for him to mature with age, but I guess that’s a lost cause, huh?”</p><p>She smiles. He really has missed that smile.</p><p>“Tell that to Sokka. He<em> still </em> doesn’t know how to wash his own clothes.”</p><p>They both stand to hug him, first Katara, then Aang. Zuko clings to both of them just a little too long.</p><p>“Not that this visit isn’t a welcome one, but uh,” Zuko clears his throat self-consciously. “What are you guys doing here?”</p><p>“Can’t a man visit one of his very best friends without needing a reason?”</p><p>Zuko’s face warms at Aang’s words. It’s been over six months since they’ve last seen each other, and Zuko hadn’t been sure whether Aang still considered him to be one of his close confidants. After all, he and Katara and Sokka and Suki spend nearly every day together. Zuko’s just been here, in the Fire Nation, by himself. </p><p>Katara snorts. “‘Man’ seems like a bit of a stretch, sweetie. You’re 16.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, and I bow to you and all your infinite 18-year-old wisdom, grandma.” Aang rolls his eyes, then grabs Zuko by the arm and begins pulling him toward the kitchen. Zuko wonders vaguely how he knows where it is. “Let’s go, your highness. I’m in need of a royal breakfast.”</p><p>Zuko lets himself be pulled. Behind him, Katara is laughing. He’s learned over these last few years that when the Avatar’s involved, it’s best just to go with it. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>OK, so Zuko probably does know why Aang and Katara are here. He had, perhaps, been a tad dramatic in his letters to inform each of them that Mai had—there really was no other word for it—dumped him. </p><p>The worst part—well, the worst part other than losing his partner of three years that he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with—was that she had been so <em>nice </em>about it. She’d cried (Mai <em>never </em>cried). She’d hugged him. She’d told him she loved him. She just... didn’t love him as much as she loved Ty Lee.</p><p>That’s not the way she put it, of course. But what else was he supposed to think after she’d broken up with him and then absconded to a romantic getaway in the Earth Kingdom with her best friend the very next day?</p><p>Zuko couldn’t be mad, though. Not really. Not when he could see on Mai’s face that everything she’d told him was the sincere truth: That she hadn’t understood her feelings for Ty Lee at first. That she’d thought it was just what all girls felt like around their best friend. That when she <em>did </em>finally realize what it meant, it scared her. That she’d spent years ignoring it, hoping the feelings would go away. That she’d never, ever meant to hurt him, but that she couldn’t bring herself to live out her entire life pretending to be something she wasn’t. That she still loved him, so much, and that she wanted to be there for him, as a friend, when he was ready.</p><p>What could he possibly say to that? “Fuck you, don’t leave me?”</p><p>Of course not. He’d hugged her back. He’d said he understood. He’d cried, even, but he’d let her go. What choice did he have? She thought space would be best, and he’d agreed, and then she left, left with Ty Lee. He didn’t ask where. And then he was alone in his royal palace, with a nation to run and a broken heart to tend to. </p><p>He isn’t really handling it well, truth be told. </p><p>So when Aang suggests “a day of fun-filled activities,” Zuko doesn’t put up a fight. He’s surprised to find his mood does improve, as the three of them head into the Capital City for some shopping. It’s good to get out of the palace, and out of his room, which had more or less become his moping headquarters for the past week.</p><p>Somehow, the kid always knows what’s best for him, even when he doesn’t know it himself.</p><p>He says as much to Katara, while they’re munching on the fire flakes Aang bought for them.</p><p>“Though I suppose,” Zuko adds, “he’s not really a kid anymore.”</p><p>“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Katara says, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she watches Aang show off his airbending moves for a gaggle of starstruck Fire Nation children. </p><p>Zuko smiles. “I guess some things never change.” They watch him in companiable silence for a moment.</p><p>Then Katara says, “Zuko,” and Zuko knows instantly by the tone of her voice that she is about to say something unbearably kind and understanding about Mai. He also knows he’s not ready to hear it—not here, not in public. He doesn’t entirely trust himself not to cry. He holds up a hand.</p><p>“Don’t,” he says, a little more harshly than he meant to. Katara doesn’t flinch; she knows him. He is grateful. “I mean, thank you, for whatever nice thing you were about to say. And for coming. I- I can’t tell you what it means to me. But… not now.”</p><p>Katara nods, takes another handful of flakes, and drops it. </p><p>Huh. Maybe he’s not the only one who has been working on himself these past few years.</p><p>“So, uh,” Zuko clears his throat. “How’s everything with you and Aang?”</p><p>It’s really just a question to fill the silence. Katara and Aang are great. Katara and Aang are always great. Zuko knows that. The absolute last thing he expects is for Katara to hesitate.</p><p>“We’re... fine,” Katara says, finally. At Zuko’s alarmed look, she sighs. “I love him with my whole heart, and I always will. But sometimes... I don’t know.”</p><p>“Don’t know... what, exactly?” asks Zuko, voice strained.</p><p>“We were just so young when, you know, we decided to... be together in the way we are now. Aang especially,” Katara says.</p><p>She falls silent, watching Aang scoop up an armful of kids to give them a ride on his air ball. </p><p>Zuko is too stunned to respond. His hand is frozen comically in the air, mid-way to helping himself to another handful of fire flakes. Aang and Katara? Having <em>relationship </em>problems? His head is spinning.</p><p>But before he can possibly think of a way to verbalize any of this, Katara speaks again.</p><p>“I just worry, sometimes, that he didn’t know what he wanted when he was 13.”</p><p>At that, Zuko finally finds his voice, because, seriously?</p><p>“Katara, what are you <em>talking </em>about? Aang <em> adores </em> you.”  </p><p>Before Zuko can press the point<em>, </em> Aang barrels over with a gust of wind, blowing the flakes out of Zuko’s hands.</p><p>“Oops! Sorry, Zuko,” Aang says cheerfully, helping himself to a handful of Zuko’s snack. “Where to next, guys? I hear the spa’s not crowded this time of day.” </p><p>Aang jabs finger guns at Zuko and Katara, tempting them, willing them to agree. </p><p>“Ooo, the spa would be heavenly,” Katara gushes, all traces of pessimism in her voice completely gone. She grabs Zuko by the arm. “Let’s go, Zuko. I’m dying to see the crowned Fire Lord in a mud musk.”</p><p>Zuko stares. Katara shoots him a warning look: Drop it. </p><p>Aang laughs, and leans in and gives her a kiss on the cheek, his own cheek brushing Zuko’s as he leans in. Zuko looks away.</p><p>“See, this is why I love you,” he says.</p><p>“I love you too, sweetie,” she responds and forcefully tugs Zuko in the direction of the spa. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Despite himself, Zuko more or less puts the troubling conversation with Katara out of his mind, because the rest of the day is one of the best Zuko’s had in a long, long time. He realizes, as they all sip cups of tea in his royal sitting room before bed, that it’s the first day in months he hasn’t done any official Fire Lord paperwork. </p><p>He sighs, contented, adding just a bit more flame to the fire he has crackling for them. He always forgets how draining running a nation is until he takes a break from it. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t take breaks very often. </p><p>When he says as much—quietly, because Katara is dozing in her armchair—Aang shakes his head. </p><p>“Zuko, that is just sad,” he says. “You gotta take some time for yourself! I mean, take me and Katara. We have a date night every week. It can’t all be saving the world. Right, sweetie?” </p><p>“Uh, I think she’s asleep.” </p><p>Zuko hides a smile behind his tea because Katara is not just asleep—she’s out cold. She’s sprawled across her chair in a distinctly undignified manner, mouth agape, and she’s snoring very slightly. </p><p>“Aw, man,” Aang pouts. “I thought we were gonna stay up late and have life-changing heart-to-hearts by the firelight.” </p><p>“Hm.” </p><p>Zuko sips his tea. He knows Aang is about to ask about Mai, and he’s surprised to find that he doesn’t mind. Maybe it has something to do with the matter-of-fact way Aang stated it—”life-changing heart-to-hearts,” as if it’s a given that Zuko will bare his soul to the Avatar. </p><p>He will, of course. Aang has a gift for drawing this stuff out of him—out of everyone he talks to, really. People trust the Avatar. People want to tell the Avatar their secrets, their hopes, their shames. It’s a gift Zuko envies. He struggles daily to convince his people to believe in him as a leader, much less confide in him as a friend. Zuko supposes the hideous scar and permanent scowl on his face might have something to do with it. </p><p>His is nothing like the face of the Avatar, who turns soft eyes on him now—open, understanding, and sympathetic. </p><p>“So,” Aang says, almost business-like. “What happened?”</p><p>Zuko shrugs. “She left me. It’s really not that complicated.”</p><p>“Zuko,” and Aang’s voice is so, so gentle. “C’mon. It’s me.”</p><p>“She’s in love with Ty Lee.” It’s the first time Zuko has said that out loud. It hurts. But perhaps not quite as much as he thought it would.</p><p>“Ah.” </p><p>Then Aang doesn’t say anything else. Despite himself, Zuko feels his anger flare up.</p><p>“<em>Well</em>? Don’t you have anything to say to that?!”</p><p>“That sounds like a very difficult situation,” Aang says calmly, unbothered by Zuko’s temper. Like Katara, Aang knows him. The thought deflates his anger as quickly as it came. Zuko slumps deeper into his chair. </p><p>“It’s OK if you want to laugh. It is pretty ridiculous.”</p><p>“Zuko. I would never laugh at something that causes you pain.”</p><p>Zuko raises his eyebrows, and Aang flushes slightly, no doubt remembering that mere hours earlier, Zuko had been attacked by a possum-chicken attempting to eat his fire flakes. Aang <em>had </em>laughed. Heartily. For several minutes.</p><p>“Well, I would l never laugh at something that causes you real pain,” Aang corrects himself. “I hope you know that.”</p><p>Zuko sighs. “I know. I do. And I’m sorry for blowing up. I just… I really miss her.”</p><p>“It’d be pretty weird if you didn’t,” Aang agrees.</p><p>“I was going to ask her to marry me,” Zuko says quietly.</p><p>“Oh, Zuko,” Aang says. “I’m so sorry.” </p><p>He sounds so <em>sincere</em>. Zuko feels something inside of him—something he’s been burying down inside himself in the week since Mai left—crack open. He blinks furiously, trying and failing to stop the tears that are rapidly welling up in his eyes.</p><p>It’s OK, though, because he knows he can cry in front of Aang. Aang, who has cried publicly and privately in front of everyone he knows, who has never once fought back his tears, would never see it as a sign of weakness. If the most powerful bender in the world can cry without shame, so can Zuko. </p><p>He buries his face in his hands, sobs silently, and Aang lets him. He doesn’t get up from his chair, doesn’t reach for Zuko, doesn’t interrupt, and doesn’t look away. He just sits with Zuko and his pain, bearing witness to it, as if it is the most natural thing in the world. </p><p>After a moment—it feels like an eternity, but it’s probably more like a minute—Zuko gets control of himself. He looks up, and finds the Aang gazing at him, as patient and understanding as ever. Zuko thinks it might just be the most comforting sight in the world. Is this how everyone the Avatar helps in a crisis feels? Utterly taken care of and protected, just by Aang’s mere presence?</p><p>“Any Avatar words of wisdom on how to fix my pathetic love life?” Zuko asks shakily, wiping away the last of his tears. </p><p>Aang huffs a laugh, finally breaking Zuko’s gaze to look down into his cup. “I’m not sure I’m qualified to give out romantic advice.”</p><p>With a twinge, Zuko remembers his conversation with Katara from earlier. But Aang and Katara will be alright. They’re going through some kind of rough patch, Zuko supposes, but they will be alright in the end.  Zuko has to believe that. If not, he thinks a little wildly, he’s not sure there’s hope for any of them, much less him. </p><p>“But Zuko,” Aang’s voice sharpens, and it’s his Avatar authority voice that he’s been utilizing more and more in recent years. It makes Zuko sit up a little straighter. </p><p>“I want you to know that you’re not alone in this,” Aang says. “Katara and I—we came out here because we love you. Sokka and Suki are coming next week. Toph, well, she told me to tell you that she’s not crossing the ocean unless you’re comatose, but she also said that you better visit her metalbending school if you know what’s good for you.” </p><p>Aang leans forward in his chair, and reaches for Zuko for the first time since their conversation began. He grabs Zuko by the hand, locking him with a piercing stare. Zuko feels utterly trapped by those eyes.</p><p>“There are people, people who love you, and who are never going to leave you. I want you to know that. You <em> do </em> know that, right? ”</p><p>Zuko, not trusting himself to speak, nods. He grips Aang’s hand probably too hard, but Aang squeezes his right back.</p><p>He does. He knows. It’s hard to remember sometimes, in an empty palace with a constant, dull pain that’s been burning on his cheek since he was 13 years old.  But he does. He knows. </p><p> </p><p>-----</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>Age 22</em> </span>
</p><p>Two years after Mai dumped him, Zuko wakes up to find the Avatar in his room. Again. Except, this time, it’s the middle of the night, and Zuko’s already had his recurring nightmare about being assassinated three times this week.</p><p>“AAAARGH!!”</p><p>Zuko unleashes a blast of fire so powerful and skilled, he’s certain it probably would have killed—or at least severely damaged—just about anybody except his father, his sister, and the Avatar. As it is, Aang easily deflects the blast, bending it away into nothing.</p><p>“Zuko, calm down! It’s me!”</p><p>Zuko breathes heavily, disoriented, trying to slow his heart rate, eyes slowly adjusting to his moonlit bedroom.</p><p>“Aang?” He’s incredulous, even as he’s still trying to get his bearings. He hasn’t seen Aang in months. The last time was only very briefly, at a very council of world leaders type thing. The meeting had gone long, and they hadn’t even had time to get lunch before they were both whisked away to important world leader duties. Zuko had been disappointed—he hoards his time with Aang like a dragon hoards precious gems, and he had been counting on at least one meal together.</p><p>Zuko looks his fill of Aang now. The Avatar appears... disheveled. He’s been growing out a beard for the last year or so—a change Zuko still hasn’t fully gotten used to—but it looks much fuller now, and a tad unkempt. His face is longer too; he’s lost almost all of that babyface roundness. His eyes, Zuko slowly registers, are rimmed red. Like he’s been crying.</p><p>“What is it?” Zuko demands. “Are you hurt? Who’s in trouble? Is it Katara?” He doesn’t really remember standing, but suddenly he is, ready to fend off danger with Aang like– well, like the good old days.</p><p>“No, no, no, nothing like that,” Aang says hastily. He rubs the back of his neck. “I, uh… I was kinda wondering if I could stay here tonight?”</p><p>Zuko slowly registers the use of “I” and not “we.” His brain is still buzzing, from being woken up to suddenly and immediately gearing up for danger. “Katara’s not with you?”</p><p>“No,” says Aang, his voice catching. Then he clears his throat, and says with false cheer, “But Appa’s here! He, uh, might have eaten most of the hay in the royal stables. Or all of it. We... didn’t really make any pit stops on the way here.”</p><p>“You flew <em>straight here </em>from the <em> North Pole</em>? Are you out of your mind?!”</p><p>“Zuko,” Aang says, and he sounds so small and defeated, that Zuko bites off the air safety tirade he had been about to launch into—things Aang himself had taught Zuko when they were just kids. “Can we please just talk about this in the morning? I’m so tired.”</p><p>Zuko lets out a breath. “Fine.”</p><p>Aang breathes a sigh of relief, flops down on the bed next to Zuko, and closes his eyes, seemingly asleep in moments.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Zuko hisses, incredulous but also not wanting to wake Aang if he’s actually asleep. He really had looked exhausted, and Zuko knows he sometimes struggles with insomnia, especially when something’s bothering him. </p><p>“Sleeping.” Aang doesn’t open his eyes. </p><p>“We have like 10 guest rooms. Including one specifically designed for the Avatar.”</p><p>“Yeah but,” Aang yawns, then rolls over, getting comfortable. “Yours is right here.”</p><p>And he’s out. </p><p>Zuko stares at the Avatar asleep in his bed for a moment. Then, with a sigh, he crawls in next to him. Zuko supposes it isn’t the first time they've shared a sleeping space. And maybe it wouldn’t be the last. </p><p>He’s not sure if maybe that last thought is a weird one to have, but, suddenly overcome by exhaustion he’s too tired to worry about it. He buries his head in his pillow and lets sleep take him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s been a week, and Aang still hasn’t told Zuko what happened. All Zuko knows, from what Aang said that first morning—eyes trained on a spot on Zuko’s duvet and voice quavering—is that Aang and Katara are taking some time apart. Before Zuko had a chance to ask any of the many, urgent follow-up questions burning on the tip of his tongue, Aang had hopped up and insisted on breakfast. </p><p>Zuko hasn’t yet pressed the point, assuming Aang would come to him when he was ready. But now it’s been a week, and Zuko is starting to suspect Aang is instead doing that thing where he willfully ignores a problem in the hopes that it will eventually go away.  </p><p>Which isn’t to say that Zuko minds having Aang in his home. On the contrary, were it not for the constant pit of anxiety in his stomach worrying over his two best friends, it would have been one of the more enjoyable weeks of Zuko’s life. His visitors rarely stay long enough to get quite as comfortable as Aang looks now, snuggled in Zuko’s bed. He still hadn’t taken up Zuko on his offer to make use of the royal Avatar quarters, or any of the guest quarters for that matter. Zuko hadn’t tried terribly hard to convince him. It was nice, having someone breathing next to him as he drifted off asleep. </p><p>But it’s not like Aang to keep things bottled up. Usually, he jumps at the chance to talk about his feelings. It makes Zuko worried that something's really very wrong, and he’s determined to get the full story out of Aang today. He has a plan. A plan that starts with hitting the Avatar in the face with a pillow. </p><p>“Waz happenin'?” Aang mumbles, flailing around wildly. Zuko doesn't bother to hide his smile.</p><p>Aang rubs his eyes and looks out the window, where the sun has only just peaked out over the horizon. “Ugh. Zuko, I know firebenders rise with the sun or whatever, but airbenders like to sleep in.”</p><p>Aang flops back down, pulling the covers back over him. </p><p>"You're a firebender too, genius."</p><p>Aang doesn't respond to that, probably because he knows Zuko has a point, so Zuko hits him with a pillow again.</p><p>“Ow! Stop that!”</p><p>“Get up. You’ve had enough lying around all week. We’re going to do something fun today.”</p><p>Aang peeks out under the blanket.  “Really? You don’t have to work?”</p><p>Zuko suddenly feels horribly guilty for not giving Aang more of his time this week. He had assumed Aang would come to him when he was ready, but maybe he had been waiting for Zuko to come to him instead.</p><p>“I don’t have to work,” Zuko confirms. “Or rather, my advisors can handle it for a day. We’re going to the beach.”</p><p>Aang cheers, and airbends himself out of bed, suddenly awake despite his protests moments ago. Zuko can’t help but smile. Making Aang happy isn’t exactly a difficult task, but it never fails to thrill Zuko every time.</p><p>They fly on Appa to Ember Island. The bison seems to be in a better mood than when Zuko visited him earlier this week—he’d barely lifted his head to greet Zuko, he was so worn out from the journey Aang had taken him on. Another worrying sign—Aang almost never over-exerted Appa, even the direst of circumstances. </p><p>This, at least, is a short trip, and in no time they’re touching down on dark sand in front of his family’s beach house. Zuko supposes it’s his beach house now. His father and sister won’t be using it any time soon. </p><p>They don’t venture to the public beach, or into town. It’s always an ordeal whenever the Avatar and the Fire Lord show up anywhere, and Zuko doesn’t think he or Aang is up for it.</p><p>Instead, they spend the afternoon swimming on the private beach. Aang teases Zuko for being, as he puts it, “a chiseled fiery heartthrob.”  Zuko, though he doesn’t voice it, privately thinks Aang’s one to talk, what with the broad shoulders and impressive abs he’s sporting these days.</p><p>There are a few good-natured splash fights, which eventually devolve into Aang waterbending the waves around Zuko so that he floats supernaturally high. Then Aang lets go, sending Zuko tumbling back into the sea. He does it gently enough that Zuko doesn’t get hurt—and hard enough that Zuko does get a faceful of water.</p><p>When Zuko resurfaces, sputtering and spitting out water, Aang immediately clears the water from Zuko’s lungs and eyes, even as he’s laughing at him.</p><p>“Thanks, Sifu Hotman,” Aang says, his eyes glinting. “I really needed that.”</p><p>Zuko’s stomach swoops at the old nickname, one he hasn’t heard in years, and he elects not to retaliate. Yet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Later, when they’re drying off in the sun, Zuko’s thoughts drift to Mai for the first time since Aang arrived.</p><p>It’s hard not to think of her when he’s here, at the summer home where they spent so much time together as kids. He still remembers the moment he first felt that swooping sensation in his stomach when he looked at her—her face aglow from the strange, blue campfire that his sister had created. Mai had been his first crush, his first love, his first kiss, and his first everything, really. </p><p>Zuko’s surprised to find the memory doesn’t sting nearly as much as it had a year ago. Maybe he’ll see if Mai and Ty Lee want to come for dinner next week. That might be nice. Especially if Aang’s still here—he and Ty Lee have a strange friendship that’s a tad perplexing, considering that Ty Lee was once trying to kill him. Zuko supposes he’s one to talk. </p><p>He glances over at Aang now. He’s laying perfectly still atop the sand. His hands are behind his head, his eyes are closed, and—Zuko realizes when he looks closer—there are tears silently running down his cheek. It’s not a total shock to see it. Aang cries easily, and he must know Zuko brought him here to Talk with a capital T. The day is nearly over, now. The time for talking has begun.</p><p>“Aang,” Zuko reaches out to touch Aang’s hand, and then hesitates, remembering how Aang gave him his space when their positions were reversed two years back. But Zuko doesn’t think space is what Aang needs right now. </p><p>He places his hand on Aang’s, and when Aang grasps it in his other hand so tightly it hurts, he knows he’s made the right choice. “Tell me what happened.”</p><p>Aang keeps his eyes closed, tears still rolling down his cheek, when he says, “I’m afraid you’ll see me differently if I do.”</p><p>He sounds small and afraid, and it breaks Zuko’s heart a little bit. He’s used to Aang with swagger and confidence, especially in recent years. Zuko privately thinks the beard and the physique—an undeniably good look for Aang—had inflated the Avatar’s already over-large ego. But the voice he uses now—well, it reminds Zuko of the broken 12-year-old kid who’d saved him from the Pohuai Stronghold archers and spoken of friendship, even when all Zuko had ever shown him was violence. </p><p>It’s this day that Zuko thinks of when he says, with absolute conviction, “You are the greatest person I have ever known, and the greatest person I will ever meet. I thank the spirits every day that I am privileged enough to know you—not because you’re the Avatar, but because you’re you. Nothing you can say will ever change that.”</p><p>“<em>Zuko.</em>” Aang's eyes fly open. Zuko feels his face grow hot, but he doesn’t let himself look away from the emotion in Aang’s gaze. Perhaps he went a little overboard but, well… it’s the truth. Aang should know. </p><p>Aang pushes himself into a sitting position, letting go of Zuko’s hand, and Zuko follows suit. Aang laughs weakly as he wipes away the tears from his eyes. “You know, I think that’s the most words I’ve ever heard you speak in one go.”</p><p>Zuko scowls. “That’s not true.”</p><p>“No, it’s not,” Aang agrees. “It did surprise me, though. I- thank you. Really. That means... so much to me. More than I feel like I can express in words. I feel the same way about you. And I guess that’s why I came here. I knew you would be the person I could tell this to.”</p><p>Aang picks up a handful of sand, and lets it go, watching the grains fall from his fist back onto the beach. Zuko waits. </p><p>“I love Katara,” Aang says finally. Zuko keeps waiting, because he already knew that. “I really do love Katara. I love her so much. She’s my everything. And I wanted to be everything I’m supposed to be to her.”</p><p>Zuko frowns. “What is it exactly that you’re ‘supposed’ to be to her?”</p><p>“A partner. A best friend,” Aang says. Then, quietly, “A lover.”</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>This is… not exactly what Zuko expected. But Aang came to him for counsel, and he’s not about to back down from the conversation now, no matter how uncomfortable it might make him. </p><p>“So, uh-”</p><p>“I <em> tried,</em>” Aang cuts him off. “I tried so hard, for so long, to feel what I was supposed to feel. To force it. At first I thought, maybe it was just because she was older than me—girls mature faster than boys, and all that. But I’m 18 now, and I’m feeling things, things I’m not supposed to feel, which is how I know I’ll never... ”</p><p>Alarm bells are starting to go off in Zuko’s head. He has a sudden, vivid flashback to the day that Mai told him her true feelings for Ty Lee, and he’s not entirely sure why.</p><p>“Never what?” Zuko asks. </p><p>“Never <em>want her</em>,” Aang says finally, miserable. He drops his head between his knees.</p><p>Zuko doesn’t know what to say. Aang adores Katara—any idiot could see that. It never once occurred to Zuko that adoration wouldn’t extend to physical attraction.</p><p>“So she…” Zuko trails off, uncertain.</p><p>“Wants to be with someone who will fuck her, yeah,” Aang says tiredly into the ground. That hadn’t quite been what Zuko was trying to ask. He’s not used to hearing Aang talk this way.</p><p>“And you…”</p><p>“Want to fuck guys? Yeah, pretty much.” </p><p>Zuko shuts his mouth with a click, because that was definitely <em>not </em>what he had been about to ask this time. Aang turns his head, to peek at Zuko from behind his arm.</p><p>“Does that change things for you?”</p><p>Zuko’s head is spinning. “Wh-what do you mean?”</p><p>“Do you still think I’m the greatest person you’ve ever known?” Aang clarifies. “Or would you rather stop hanging out with me?”</p><p>“<em>Aang</em>.” Zuko doesn’t hesitate this time when he grabs Aang’s hand. Aang grips back tightly. “I always want to hang out with you. This changes nothing.”</p><p>“Really?” He sounds small and uncertain again, and it breaks Zuko’s heart, again.</p><p>“Yes.” Zuko takes his hand back, struggling to find the right words. “I admit I’m- I’m a little, uh, surprised. I saw how much you loved Katara. How much you do love her. I never expected…”</p><p>“I didn’t, either.” Aang looks down again. “The weird thing is… I think Katara kinda did. I guess she knows me better than I know myself.”</p><p>Zuko remembers with a jolt a mystifying conversation he’d had with Katara in the market two years ago. Suddenly, everything makes so much sense. </p><p>“Look, I…” Aang rubs a hand over his shaved head and lets out a breath. “This is, uh, kinda weird for me. I’m still figuring some stuff out. But I can’t do that at home, with Katara, right now. It hurts too much. Knowing all the ways I’ve failed her.”</p><p>“You haven’t-” Zuko starts, but Aang cuts him off. </p><p>“Thanks, Zuko,” he says, smiling a bit ruefully, “but I don’t really want to talk about it anymore. I had to tell you because you deserve to know, but it’s still a bit… fresh.”</p><p>Zuko nods. He may not understand everything Aang is going through, but that, he gets. </p><p>“I was wondering…” Aang starts, then trails off looking sheepish. </p><p>“You were wondering…” Zuko prompts. </p><p>“I was wondering if I could maybe stay with you for a bit? I’ll, ah, move to the Avatar quarters and let you have your room back. But Katara’s staying with Sokka, and... I don’t really want to be on my own right now.”</p><p>“Aang,” Zuko says, and he hopes and hopes his sincerity comes through when he says, “You can stay with me for as long as you like.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welp. I'm only 7 months late? I solemnly swear to never publish an unfinished fic again. Hopefully, it's worth the wait! (Again, I know nothing of the comics, and I'm sure I probably messed up every single detail of the creation of Republic City.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aang stays with Zuko a few more weeks—or for nearly half a year, depending on how you look at it.</p><p>By the end of the month, Aang is traveling on official Avatar duties again and purportedly living the nomadic existence. But during the six months following his and Katara’s separation, he gravitates back to the Fire Nation more often than anywhere else, as far as Zuko can tell.</p><p>Zuko’s come to expect to see Aang, on average, once a week. If he goes more than two weeks without the sight of Appa coming in for a landing, Zuko starts to worry. Sometimes Aang stays just for a night. Sometimes he stays a few weeks. But he always stays, and he always stays in the Royal Palace. (He stays in the Avatar quarters—he hasn’t attempted to stay in Zuko’s room since that day on the beach, and Zuko can’t figure out a way to get him back to his room without making it weird.)</p><p>He and Aang have never been closer, and, truth be told, Zuko’s never been happier.</p><p>He’s not surprised, therefore, when he glances up from his morning tea to see a bison-sized shadow hovering over the courtyard. He does, however, feel a swooping sensation in his stomach at the sight. He supposes one day he’ll get used to the excitement of a visit from the Avatar, but today is not that day.</p><p>He <em>is</em> a little surprised to see that it’s not just Aang on Appa’s back when they land.</p><p>“Sokka,” Zuko says with a bow as they slide off the giant bison. “It’s been too long.”</p><p>“Pretty sure I’m supposed to be the one who’s bowing,” Sokka says with a grin, and remains firmly upright. “But what can I say? I was born a rebel.”</p><p>Instead, he pulls Zuko into a bone-crushing hug. Zuko grunts in surprise, and not a little bit of pain. Spirits, when did Sokka get so <em>ripped</em>?</p><p>“Still just as formal as ever I see,” Sokka teases, tweaking the crown wedged carefully into Zuko’s meticulously wrapped bun. Or, he tries to tweak it, anyhow. Zuko smacks his hand away first—Sokka may be strong, but Zuko’s reflexes are still superior.</p><p>“Trust me, Sokka,” Aang says, laughing. “You don’t want to mess with His Fieryness’s royal tiara. I nearly got my eyebrows singed for that.”</p><p>Zuko scowls. “It’s not a-”</p><p>Too late. Sokka bursts out laughing. “Royal Tiara! Oh man, I have got to remember that one. Good one, Aang.”</p><p>Zuko sighs. He has a feeling he’ll be hearing “tiara” from Sokka until the day he dies. Strangely, he doesn’t mind the thought. It’s nice to remember there are people who will never find him scary.</p><p>“Where’s Suki?” Zuko asks, looking around. He rarely sees Sokka without her anymore. He suspects they had planned to get married soon, but are putting the announcement off until Katara and Aang can come to some sort of agreement.</p><p>“She and Katara are having some kind of women-only retreat that I wasn’t invited to,” Sokka says dismissively. “Probably trading tips on how to tear me down both emotionally and physically.”</p><p>Zuko glances to Aang when Sokka mentions Katara. He's busying himself with Appa’s saddle, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. So, Katara and Aang are still not talking to each other, then.</p><p>“Hey,” Sokka says warmly, brushing over the tension. He throws one arm around Zuko and grabs Aang with the other, pulling their heads closer together than Zuko would have liked. “It’s nice to hang out just the guys, right? This will be fun! A manly trip of men activities! We can hunt for our food and start our own fires!”</p><p>"I am pretty good at starting my own fires," Zuko says dryly.</p><p>Aang laughs. “Yeah, Zuko’s palace full of servants who draw him baths is <em>super</em> manly.”</p><p>Sokka releases his hold to clap his hands together. “Ohh, forget what I just said about fires and shit. I want to be pampered.”</p><p>“I do not have servants draw me baths,” Zuko grumbles. He’s aware that he sounds petulant, but being around Aang and Sokka at the same time takes him right back to being a teenager.</p><p>Sokka’s face falls comically. “Aw man! But I was really looking forward to that!”</p><hr/><p>They do not, in fact, have a manly day filled with manly activities, nor do they have a day of pampering. Contrary to what Aang believes—and indeed, what Aang practices, when it comes to his Avatar duties—Zuko can’t just take a break from his job. Zuko feels he shouldn’t have to explain this, given that his job is, you know, running a nation.</p><p>So Zuko stays in his office, attempting to make a dent in a mountain of paperwork. Sokka, after realizing that no amount of needling will make Zuko not have to run a nation, heads into town for some shopping.</p><p>Zuko assumes Aang will go with him, even though—Zuko thinks with a pang of annoyance—he could really use Aang’s help preparing for their upcoming meeting with the Earth Kingdom council. But shopping is decidedly more fun than zoning the districts of the hopefully soon-to-be United Republic of Nations.</p><p>Aang has been very focused on fun in the months since he and Katara parted ways. Too focused on it, Zuko thinks privately, though he hasn’t said so aloud. Not because he’s afraid of criticizing the Avatar—that’s never been an issue—but, selfishly, because Zuko likes having Aang around so much. Zuko has no idea why, but Aang’s definition of fun seems to include a lot of visits to the Fire Nation. Zuko isn’t sure how long these regular visits will last, but he certainly doesn’t want to be the one to put a stop to them.</p><p>Maybe that’s why Zuko’s not entirely surprised when his office door opens shortly after Sokka leaves. Zuko doesn’t look up from his work. There are really only two people in the castle who would dare enter his study without knocking, and one of them is out shopping.</p><p>“I assumed you’d want to catch up with Sokka in town,” Zuko says as he absently signs a document proclaiming... something. He should probably go back and read that one again.</p><p>“I caught up with Sokka plenty on the ride over,” Aang says, flopping into the ornate leather chair Zuko has set up for guests across from his desk. “But I came here to see you.”</p><p>Zuko’s cheeks feel a little warm. They must be putting too much coal in the furnaces. He’ll have to ask Tomi to adjust it later.</p><p>“And Sokka decided to tag along?” Zuko asks lightly. He has a suspicion as to why Sokka came, but he hasn't had a chance to ask Aang outright about it yet.</p><p>“Yu-up,” Aang says. He doesn’t elaborate.</p><p>Zuko sighs internally. But if Aang’s not in the mood to talk, they might as well get some work done.</p><p>“Alright. By the way, I went over the draft of the districts you mailed me. My advisors and I came up with a few revisions that might make the Fire Nation colonies more amenable.”</p><p>Zuko half expects Aang to deflect the conversation back to Sokka, just to avoid doing work, but instead he leans forward, picks up a quill pen on Zuko’s desk, and looks at him expectantly.</p><p>“Sure,” Aang says. “Hit me.”</p><hr/><p>Nearly two hours later, they more or less have a draft of the district map to present to the council. Zuko’s sure not everyone will be happy—everyone never is—but he hopes he and Aang have come up with something that will, at least, get the majority’s approval.</p><p>Zuko puts down his pen, feeling the kind of unique satisfaction he only ever gets when he and Aang work together like this.</p><p>It’s the bone-deep gratification of collaborating with someone who complements him perfectly—where Aang is idealistic, Zuko is cautious; where Zuko is short-sighted, Aang is resourceful, and so on. They fit. (And sometimes, if Zuko comes up with a particularly brilliant idea that surprises Aang, the Avatar will smile at him in a way that makes Zuko feel like he’s the ruler of the damn world, not just a nation.)</p><p>“Wow, I’m proud of us,” Aang says as he stretches out of the hunched position he’d been in for the last half-hour. “That was very responsible.”</p><p>“I’m always responsible,” Zuko replies. “You, on the other hand…”</p><p>“Oh, hush.” Aang directs a light breeze toward Zuko’s forehead, blowing the hair strands that have slipped out of Zuko’s bun in his face.</p><p>“Stop that,” Zuko says, but he’s smiling. He can’t help it.</p><p>“Sure, Sifu,” Aang says, smiling back, shooting another blast.</p><p>Zuko really needs to remember to ask Tomi to adjust the temperature in here.</p><p>“Alright, you’ve held me captive for long enough,” Aang says. It's a joke he likes to make sometimes, to Zuko’s chagrin. “Now it’s time to feed me. And<em> please</em> don’t tell me the royal kitchen is making a traditional Water Tribe meal to welcome Sokka. I’ve eaten enough stewed sea prunes for a lifetime.”</p><p>“I’ll make a deal with you,” Zuko says. “I’ll ask for your favorite stir fry–”</p><p>“Wait, really? Thank the Spirits–”</p><p>“–if you tell me what Sokka’s doing here.”</p><p>Aang huffs out a breath, a cross between annoyed and amused.</p><p>“I should have known you wouldn’t let that go.” Aang twirls the pen in his hand, then points it at Zuko accusingly. “It’s not right to bribe a man with his supper, Fire Lord Zuko. Don’t think I won’t remember this the next time you’re hit with accusations of corruption.”</p><p>“Says the Avatar who ate four free desserts from Reiki’s last month.”</p><p>“I was just being polite,” Aang insists. “Reiki loves us! If we stopped eating his free desserts-”</p><p>“-he’d stop giving us free dessert?”</p><p>“Exactly.” Aang grins. Zuko’s stomach swoops. But he won’t let himself be distracted.</p><p>“Aang. You know I’m going to ask Sokka. You also know I’d rather hear it from you.”</p><p>Aang sighs. “And you know how much I appreciate that about you.”</p><p>Abruptly, Aang pushes himself out of his chair. He paces. Zuko waits. Aang gets like this, sometimes, when agitated. It’s been happening more and more, recently.</p><p>“Sokka wants me to talk to Katara,” Aang says finally.</p><p>“You should talk to Katara,” Zuko replies, his voice even. He’s been saying as much to Aang for the last six months. But, as Zuko's told Katara in his letters to her, nothing he has said has convinced Aang to budge.</p><p>Aang groans, throwing up his hands.</p><p>“I know, I know, I <em>know</em>. I know I need to talk to Katara, I know I can’t avoid her forever, I know it’s not my fault I want to be with men, I know she wants to be my friend.” He’s practically shouting now. “You and Sokka and Suki and Toph have said this to me like a bajillion times. I get it, OK? Message fucking received!”</p><p>He glares at Zuko, a challenge in his eyes. Zuko stares calmly back, and waits some more.</p><p>“Are you done?”</p><p>Aang takes a few deep breaths, lowers his arms, and then dramatically drops himself back into the seat in front of Zuko’s desk.</p><p>“Yes.” Then, begrudgingly, “Sorry.”</p><p>Aang leans forward in his seat, dropping his head into his hands. “I really miss her.” It’s so quiet, Zuko almost doesn’t hear it.</p><p>“Why are you doing this to yourself, Aang?” Zuko asks gently.</p><p>“I want things with me and Katara to be like they were.”</p><p>“You mean how they were when you were pretending to be someone you’re not?” Zuko asks, remembering something Mai said to him years back.</p><p>Aang looks at him sharply. Zuko feels embarrassed for some reason, like he shouldn’t have known to say that.</p><p>“No,” Aang says slowly. “I mean when we were partners in almost every sense of the word. When I told her everything about my day, and she told me everything about hers. When she was the first person I saw in the morning and the last person I saw before I went to sleep. That’s not possible anymore. It never will be again. And that’s because of me.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Zuko says, holding up a hand when Aang winces. “Let me finish. You’re right that things are different now, and that they’ll probably always be different. But it’s up to you whether they will be good-different or bad-different. And shutting Katara out forever pretty much guarantees bad-different.”</p><p>Aang sighs. “I’m not shutting her out forever. I’m just... not ready yet, OK?”</p><p>“OK,” Zuko allows. “But… Aang, you’re hurting her. That’s why Sokka came, right? He’s worried about her.”</p><p>Aang stands up again, slowly this time. He walks over and examines Zuko’s bookshelf. Zuko himself hasn’t looked at that thing in years—he’s not even sure what books are on it. But he’s pretty sure it’s nothing fascinating enough to keep Aang as interested as he’s pretending to be right now.</p><p>“Sokka thinks I listen to you,” Aang says eventually, blowing some dust off a volume with a puff of air from his hands. Zuko can’t quite place his tone. It sounds almost—embarrassed.</p><p>Zuko snorts. “That’s because he’s never sat in on one of our diplomacy settings.”</p><p>Aang smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah.”</p><p>Aang turns around, his back now to Zuko. “He wouldn’t tell me exactly why he wants to talk to you, but it’s definitely something along the lines of ‘Get Aang to talk to Katara.’ Even though I told him you were busy and that he shouldn't bother you with it. That’s honestly all I know. Now can we please go eat? You promised stir fry.”</p><p>“You bother me all the time,” Zuko points out, getting up as he says it. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he stood. Stir fry does sound good.</p><p>“True,” Aang concedes, holding the door open for Zuko as they exit. “But I’m the Avatar. My job has to come with some perks. Annoying the Fire Lord whenever I want just happens to be my favorite.”</p><hr/><p>The stir fry is delicious. Aang and Sokka eat three helpings each, which thrills Zuko’s chef to no end. Zuko will have to remember to tell her the Avatar requested her stir fry specifically; it’s sure to keep her in high spirits for weeks.</p><p>At the end of the meal—after even Sokka reluctantly turns away another portion—Sokka clears his throat meaningfully and asks Zuko if he’d like to join him for a walk. He pointedly does not invite Aang.</p><p>“Subtle,” Zuko mutters to him, as he rises to join Sokka by the door. Sokka shrugs, unrepentant.</p><p>Zuko glances back, thinking he should at least say something to Aang before abandoning him for the evening. But Aang waves him on before he can open his mouth.</p><p>“Go on, go on, you two have your chat.” He doesn’t sound terribly put-out or surprised, but Zuko still hesitates. Aang is technically his honored guest.</p><p>“Zuko,” Aang says, impatient now. “I’m here all the time. This place is practically my second home. I’m completely capable of entertaining myself for an hour.”</p><p>Before Zuko can even begin to process the revelation that Aang sees his palace as a second home, Sokka is tugging him on his arm.</p><p>“You heard the kid, let’s go,” Sokka says, and pulls him out to the Royal Palace gardens.</p><p>Zuko himself be pulled and—quite graciously, in his opinion—doesn’t shove Sokka off until they’re outside. He’s still a royal leader. He can only tolerate being manhandled for so long.</p><p>“He’s not really a kid, you know,” Zuko says as they fall into step together, under the shade of a cherry blossom tree swaying gently in the breeze. The sun has just set, a band of light still visible on the horizon.</p><p>“Hmm?” Sokka replies absently. His mind is clearly on whatever spiel he’s about to give Zuko.</p><p>“Aang,” Zuko clarifies. “He’s not really a kid, anymore. He’s almost 20 years old.”</p><p>“Oh. Right.” Sokka runs his hand over his head, tugging on the end of his ponytail. “Man, hard to believe, isn’t it? When you save the world as a teenager, the rest of your life really flies by.”</p><p>Zuko snorts. “Speak for yourself, old man. I think I still have a few good years left in me.”</p><p>Sokka gasps. “How dare you? I’m only two months older than you! Take that back!”</p><p>Zuko laughs outright. He hasn’t seen Sokka since his last visit to the Southern Water Tribe, which was over a year ago. He's missed him.</p><p>They circle the pond at a leisurely pace. The summer is coming to a close, there’s a chill in the air, but Zuko’s pleased to see a few turtle ducks are still milling about in the water. They’ll find shelter for the winter soon, but they’ll be back. They always come back.</p><p>“So, listen. Zuko,” Sokka starts to say, but Zuko’s interrupting him before he finishes saying “so.”</p><p>“If you’re going to ask me to tell Aang to talk to Katara, trust me, I’ve tried. I’ve brought it up nearly every time he’s visited over the last few months. He always says he’s not ready.”</p><p>“That’s, uh, not actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”</p><p>Sokka looks vaguely uncomfortable. Zuko feels a knot of dread beginning to form in his stomach.</p><p>“Please tell me you’re not breaking up with Suki.”</p><p>“What?” Sokka gapes at Zuko. “Are you out of your mind?! Why would I be breaking up with Suki?”</p><p>The knot in Zuko’s stomach loosens. “I don’t know! I just, I feel like, lately, whenever my friends want to have important talks with me, it’s about... relationship problems.”</p><p>Sokka bursts out laughing.</p><p>“Well look at you, Doctor Love!" He slaps Zuko on the shoulder. "I’ll be sure to turn to your expertise if I ever need it, but no, Suki and I are doing great.”</p><p>He smiles a bit as he says it, as if imagining just how great things between him and Suki are. Zuko doesn’t need the details, but he’s happy for them.</p><p>“So then what…?”</p><p>Sokka stops walking. He glances self-consciously at a guard standing out of earshot at the far corner of the garden. “Katara’s seeing someone.”</p><p>“...Oh.”</p><p>It’s... not what Zuko expected to hear. He’s not entirely sure how he feels about it. Relieved, he supposes, that Katara isn’t feeling as abandoned and lonely as both he and Aang had feared. Conflicted, certainly, because a selfish part of him had still been holding out that his two best friends would somehow work it out, despite the fact that Aang’s made it clear that’s not really possible. But mostly, he’s confused.</p><p>“Sokka, no offense but... why are you telling me this?”</p><p>Sokka sighs. “Look. The news of Aang and Katara’s break-up isn’t exactly public knowledge yet. But it’s getting harder to keep it under wraps. Do you know how many Katara and Aang portraits I’ve been asked to sign in my lifetime? Way too many! People are obsessed with those two, they love to gossip. It’s only a matter of time before Katara and her new boyfriend are seen together in public. She wants to tell Aang before he hears it from anyone else. But he refuses to talk to her.”</p><p>“So… what? You want me to tell him?”</p><p>“If he won’t talk to Katara, we think it’s best he hears it from you, yes.”</p><p>Zuko is baffled. He and Aang have grown closer these past few months, sure, but it’s still nothing compared to the many years of brotherhood Aang and Sokka have shared.</p><p>Sokka must see some of that confusion on Zuko’s face, because he says, “Look, I don’t know how Aang’s been acting with you recently, but he’s barely said two words to me. He flinches every time I so much as look at him. The ride over here was the most awkward six hours of my life. It’s like he thinks I’m going to beat him up for dumping my sister—which, to be fair, I did say that to him when they first officially got together.”</p><p>Zuko gives Sokka an exasperated look.</p><p>“What? I was kidding! I’m the jokes guy! I would never hurt Aang.”</p><p>“Right, well, he’s the Avatar, so I highly doubt-”</p><p>Sokka waves him off. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, magic glowing, I’m toast, got it. Listen, would you just talk to Aang? And try not to upset him too much in the process? He’s still my ride home, and I’d really like to not be stranded in the Fire Nation.”</p><p>“Fine,” Zuko says. “But I don’t know why you think he’ll be upset. He's, I mean, he’s… uh...”</p><p>Zuko trails off. Since that day on the beach, neither he nor Aang had addressed Aang’s… sexual preference. The knowledge certainly hadn’t driven Zuko away from Aang—if anything he’d never been fonder of the Avatar—but Zuko did feel… odd when he remembered Aang’s confession. He wasn’t sure why. He also abruptly realizes that Aang may not have spoken to Sokka about it, and that he wouldn't want Zuko to tell Sokka now. He quickly closes his mouth, eyes darting to Sokka’s face to gauge his reaction. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees nothing but understanding.</p><p>“Into guys? Yeah, he told me that much.”</p><p>“Then why-”</p><p>“Just because Aang doesn’t want to have sex with my sister—and fuck you for making me utter that phrase—doesn’t mean he won’t be upset that his partner of nearly a decade has a new boyfriend.”</p><p>“I definitely did <em>not</em> make you say that phrase,” Zuko says, “but point taken. Who’s her new boyfriend, anyways?”</p><p>“Oh, Teo. Funny, right? She really has a type.”</p><p>Zuko opens his mouth to ask who the hell Teo is—Sokka and the rest still tend to forget that Zuko only traveled with them for a few weeks when they were kids, and therefore doesn’t share their network of friends—but before he can, there’s a loud rustling from the tree above them.</p><p>“Um, Zuko? You wouldn’t happen to have a giant pet bird that looks exactly like Aang, would you?”</p><p>With a sinking feeling, Zuko looks up to see the unmistakable sight of Aang on his glider, vanishing with alarming speed over the horizon.</p><p>Shit.</p><hr/><p>It takes Zuko nearly an hour to find him. Aang smiles faintly when Zuko approaches him, sitting in the dark on the cliff—a secluded spot overlooking the sea where Zuko himself used to come as a child—but he doesn’t move to get up. It’s not until Zuko sits down next to him that he realizes what Aang is doing.</p><p>“Are you <em>smoking</em>?”</p><p>Aang glances sideways at Zuko, then deliberately inhales on the carved pipe he’s holding and blows smoke directly in Zuko’s face. The smell is pungent and vaguely familiar, but Zuko can’t place it before he starts coughing.</p><p>Aang laughs, before clearing the smoke from Zuko’s lungs with a flick of his wrist.</p><p>“Sorry. Couldn’t resist. But I feel like it’s pretty obvious I’m smoking.”</p><p>Zuko rubs his chest, the sensation of having the air inside his body bent lingering oddly. “Well, I’ve never seen you smoke before.”</p><p>“Katara hated it.” Aang inhales again. “But the plum tree leaves have properties that help me meditate. Actually, your uncle is the one who taught me how to get those properties by burning the leaves." He exhales. "The monks made salves. But this way is faster.” </p><p>Ah.</p><p>Zuko finally places the smell. Uncle had tried to get him to partake a few times, insisting it would help him relax. When Zuko finally relented, he’d found it to be a wholly unpleasant experience; it amplified every fear and self-doubt he had by a thousand. Considering Zuko had quite a lot of fears and self-doubts, he’d never said yes to smoking the leaves again.</p><p>He has absolutely no idea, then, what demonic spirit possesses him to take the pipe from Aang’s outstretched hand when it’s offered to him. He takes a small puff, manages not to cough too much, and hands the pipe back to Aang.</p><p>“Wow,” Aang says. “I was just being polite. I didn’t really expect you to do it.”</p><p>Zuko shrugs. He feels a bit reckless, a bit daring. </p><p>“You were spying on us,” Zuko says. It’s not a question.</p><p>Aang snorts, and answers anyhow. “Of course I was spying on you. Sokka flew all the way here to have a conversation with you about me—about <em>my</em> relationship—without bothering to involve, you know, me. I think that’s grounds for spying.”</p><p>He offers Zuko the pipe again. Zuko takes it.</p><p>“According to Sokka, you wouldn’t let him involve you.”</p><p>“Hey, in my defense,” Aang says, and his voice is light but Zuko notes his grip on his staff is white-knuckled, “I thought Sokka wanted to nag me about the importance of <em>communication</em>.”</p><p>He says the word in a put-upon, preachy voice that sounds suspiciously like Katara. “I didn’t know he was trying to tell me my ex was dating the less-awesome version of me.”</p><p>Zuko knows he should probably say something kind or supportive or thoughtful to Aang, since, as Sokka predicted, he seems upset.</p><p>But the plum leaves must already be going to his head, because what comes out when he opens his mouth is: “OK, seriously, who the <em>hell</em> is this Teo?”</p><p>Weirdly, this terrible method of comfort seems to work. Aang laughs, warm and genuine. He gently takes the pipe out of Zuko’s hands.</p><p>“I always forget you weren’t with us in the early years. Or at least, not in the way that I wanted you to be.” Aang says. Zuko feels himself grow warm and hopes Aang doesn’t notice. “He’s Earth Kingdom, but he and his dad made the Northern Air Temple their home for a while. He helped us out in the war—I think you guys met, honestly.”</p><p>Zuko searches his memory. His brain feels foggy, but that does sound familiar. “The kid in the chair who could fly like you?”</p><p>Aang scowls. “He can’t fly<em> like</em> me. It’s a pale imitation at best.”</p><p>“Aang. No one can fly like you. Literally, no one.”</p><p>“Aww. Thanks, hotman.”</p><p>Zuko opens his mouth to say it’s not so much a compliment as it is a fact, given that Aang is the last airbender, but Aang’s already moved on; already backtracking his earlier pettiness.</p><p>“He’s a nice guy, actually. A friend of both of ours. And it’s not like I want to compete with him. I’m still…” he trails off, not looking at Zuko, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks.</p><p>“I know,” Zuko says, sparing them both.</p><p>“Anyways. I guess this means I can start dating without worrying about Katara’s feelings.”</p><p>Zuko experiences an unpleasant sinking sensation at Aang’s words. He resolves not to smoke any more plum leaves. He thinks vaguely that he should remove himself from this situation before he gets any higher. He senses that he may do something he regrets, though he can’t imagine what that thing would be.</p><p>“Is there ah, anyone in particular you had in mind?” Zuko is asking the question before he can talk himself out of it.</p><p>Aang coughs awkwardly and doesn’t reply. Zuko feels even worse.</p><p>“Sorry, I shouldn’t have-” Zuko tries to get up, but his limbs are slow to respond to his brain. “I’m prying. I’ll just…”</p><p>He stumbles to his feet, turning to leave. Aang is up with him in an instant, graceful in every way Zuko is not. He grabs Zuko’s wrists, steadying him.</p><p>Zuko feels Aang’s hands on his skin as if they were on fire. He actually glances down, just to make sure they’re not. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s done something like that, but it’s been a long time since he lost control. He feels dizzy.</p><p>“Whoa, hotman,” Aang says. “You OK?”</p><p>Zuko’s not OK. His head is spinning. His heart is pounding.</p><p>“I-” Zuko stares into Aang’s concerned eyes, and feels something integral shifting deep inside of him. What is <em>happening</em>? “I think I should stop smoking.”</p><p>He waits for Aang to laugh, but Aang doesn’t laugh. Of course Aang doesn’t laugh. He’s the Avatar, the bridge between the worlds, the keeper of peace, the solver of problems, and the best person Zuko’s ever known.</p><p>Zuko’s so lucky to know Aang. He should tell him that, right? He should.</p><p>“Aang,” Zuko says, slipping his hands into Aang’s and squeezing. “I’m so lucky to know you.”</p><p>Aang’s face breaks into a smile. “I think that’s my line to you,” he says, soft and sincere. He slips his hands out of Zuko’s, and gently, so gently, brushes a stray strand of hair behind Zuko’s ear.</p><p>Zuko can’t look away, can’t breathe, can’t think. Has Aang always been so beautiful? Has Zuko always wanted to kiss him?</p><p>Then Aang drops his hands. “But if you’re voluntarily talking about your feelings, I think I should probably take you home.”</p><p>The moment is broken. Zuko suddenly feels tired—the kind of bone-deep exhaustion that comes with having the chemicals in his brain messed with. The idea of hiking down the cliffside—some three or four miles back to the palace—is nothing less than torture.</p><p>“Or we could take a quick nap first?” he suggests hopefully.</p><p>Aang laughs. “Don’t worry, Sifu. I won’t make you walk.”</p><p>He shakes open his glider. Holding it in one hand, he reaches out toward Zuko with the other. Zuko is feeling dizzy again.</p><p>“That thing can take two people?”</p><p>Aang grins. “If you hold on tight.”</p><p>Which is how Zuko ends up plastered to Aang’s side, one arm clenched around his waist, the other gripping the wood of the glider, soaring through the night sky.</p><p>He’s trying not to look at Aang. He doesn’t want to break the airbender’s concentration, not when he’s focusing on bending the laws of gravity to keep them both from plummeting down to earth, for one.</p><p>But also, Zuko has this feeling like he’s falling already, nosediving into an abyss he’ll never be able to escape from. He thinks he should try to save himself, try to catch onto a ledge on the way down. But he didn’t realize how far he’d already fallen, and now it’s too late.</p><p>He can’t help it; he glances at Aang. Aang's brow is furrowed in concentration, his jawline set, the muscles in his neck straining. He’s the best thing Zuko’s ever seen. Zuko wants him so badly.</p><p>Yeah. It’s definitely too late.</p><hr/><p>Zuko would have thought that realizing he was romantically interested in his newly-single, recently-declared-gay best friend—who also happened to be the most powerful person in the world—would irrevocably alter the course of his life. But since the revelation about his feelings, not that much had changed in Zuko’s day-to-day.</p><p>Zuko had half hoped that, after Aang got him to bed that night, he’d wake up the next morning and realize those feelings were just a plum leaf-induced hallucination. No such luck. When Zuko opened his eyes after sleeping much later than a crowned ruler ought to, he’d been greeted with the sight of a shirtless Aang chattering about their plans for the day.</p><p>Zuko had swallowed, looked away, and not heard a word Aang said. Not a hallucination, then.</p><p>But then he and Aang had a meeting about construction plans for Republic City, followed by a meeting about business incentives for each nation, followed by a meeting about the practicals of massive relocation. Zuko had had no choice, really, but to fall back into their routine. Other than a new tendency to get distracted by the lines of Aang’s jaw or the planes of his shoulders, everything stays more or less the same.</p><p>Of course, then Zuko goes and messes everything up.</p><p>In Zuko’s defense, he really thought he’d read the signs correctly.</p><p>It happened like this: They were having a good day—no, they were having a great day. Everything had come together, in that seamless way it so rarely does. Zuko and Aang had been negotiating for months over approval for the United Republic of Nations. They’d both agreed that a unanimous vote among the nations in favor of the city would be the only way to ensure its legitimacy long-term.</p><p>But Zuko hadn’t realized just how difficult it would be to get all four nations to agree on something.</p><p>The Water Tribe insisted the city be on the coast. The Fire Nation refused to travel north of Ba Sing Se. The Earth Kingdom required incentives to give up a plot of land. And when the Water Tribe found out about that, they’d nearly backed out of the agreement, sending Aang and Zuko scrambling to talk the various leaders down from the ledge.</p><p>They’d had to make compromises, but nothing too costly, and by the end of the day, they had done it.</p><p>The contracts were signed. Republic City was going to be a reality. It was going to change the world, it was going to irrevocably alter their culture, it was going to launch an era of prosperity and modernity. And it was all because he and Aang had done it.</p><p>No other duo could have pulled this off, Zuko truly believed that. Diplomacy was neither of their strong suits on their own, but when they were together, it just clicked. The people who didn’t listen to Zuko listened to Aang, and vice versa. And the two benders were so completely on the same wavelength, they could silently communicate across a room of diplomats with no more than a glance.</p><p>Zuko was high with the victory, his skin buzzing. He knew Aang was feeling the same way. He’d caught Aang’s eye as they were shaking hands with everyone. The look on Aang's face—fiercely happy, proud, and a spark of adrenaline-induced mischief—sent a zap down Zuko’s spine like an electric shock.</p><p>“You did it, Aang,” Chief Arnook, who was looking quite old these days, said. “I wasn’t sure it was possible, but you did it.”</p><p>“Thanks, Arnook,” Aang said, smiling. “But I didn’t do it on my own. I’d be lost without Zuko. In more ways than one.”</p><p>Arnook nodded, and sent Zuko an admiring look—but Zuko didn’t see it, because Zuko was looking at Aang.<br/><br/>Aang <em>had</em> to have known what those words meant to Zuko. He had to have known what it meant to hear them spoken in front of fellow leaders, the same leaders who had been mistrustful of Zuko from the start. Zuko didn’t blame them—he barely trusted himself. He carried a century of shame with him, always.</p><p>But the Avatar said he would be lost without him, and that had to count for something.</p><p>It was late in the day, and they were hungry, so they decided to go out for dinner rather than wait for the kitchen staff to cook. They drank. Quite a lot. It was their victory night, after all. Finally, something to celebrate.</p><p>They talked and laughed and drank until—to Zuko’s embarrassment and Aang’s amusement—they realized the restaurant had technically been closed for an hour. No one on the wait staff had wanted to be the ones to tell the Fire Lord and the Avatar it was time to go home.</p><p>Back at the palace, Zuko had suggested a night cap, and Aang—Aang, who drank alcohol maybe once or twice a year—had agreed. The air around them was buzzing with a strange sort of tension, one that Zuko suspected he knew the name of, but didn’t dare say out loud, even in his own head.</p><p>Things got a little blurry after that.</p><p>Zuko thinks maybe it started with Aang making fun of his bun.</p><p>Well, “making fun” implies a certain degree of witticism. What Aang was really doing was pointing and laughing hysterically, and also occasionally flicking Zuko’s hair with his hand. They were nearly horizontal on the table in Zuko’s kitchen, completely alone. The staff had long since gone to bed.</p><p>“It’s just,” Aang said, hiccupping with laughter, “It’s just so adorable. It’s just an adorable little nub! I just want to honk it!”</p><p>He reached out and gave Zuko’s bun a firm squeeze.</p><p>Zuko tried and failed to bat him away, laughing. “This is an ancient and noble hairstyle,” he said. “Also. Uh. Crown.”</p><p>“Oh, right,” Aang giggled. “Crown.” His hand was still in Zuko’s hair, except now it was kind of caressing Zuko’s cheek.</p><p>“Does this mean I get to make fun of your beard, then?” Zuko wondered. “Because I’ve been wanting to do that for years.”</p><p>Aang’s hands flew off of Zuko’s face to his own, grabbing self-consciously at his facial hair.</p><p>“What’s wrong with my beard?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Zuko said hastily, and without consciously deciding to do so, reached out his hand to stroke Aang’s chin. Well, Aang had done it to him, hadn’t he? It was only fair. “It’s very, uh… rugged.”</p><p>Aang laughed and batted his eyelids daintily. “Why, Zuko, are you calling me manly?”</p><p>Zuko felt thick-headed and tongue-tied, so he just said, “Yeah.”</p><p>His hand was still on Aang’s face. For some reason, Aang wasn’t laughing anymore. Actually, he was looking at Zuko’s lips. Zuko’s eyes automatically darted down to Aang’s.</p><p>He swallowed. They were sitting so close. Zuko could feel himself swaying forward, as if by a magnetic pull, and oh, shit, this was happening–</p><p>
  <em>Whoosh.</em>
</p><p>Suddenly Zuko was alone at the table, his robes flapping from the breeze Aang made when he had launched himself across the room.</p><p>“Uh. I’m,” Aang said from the opposite end of the kitchen, looking more uncomfortable than Zuko had ever seen him.</p><p>They stared at each other for an excruciating moment.</p><p>“I’m going to bed,” Aang said finally and disappeared.</p><p>Zuko thunked his head on the table. He didn’t get up for several hours. Eventually, he dragged himself to bed. He slept hardly at all.</p><hr/><p>So, yeah. Zuko knows he messed up. He wakes the next morning, half-convinced he’ll find Aang strapping bags onto Appa, ready to take off for the Northern Air Temple.</p><p>What had Zuko been thinking? That Aang would… what? Kiss him? Cuddle with him? Date him? Sleep with him?</p><p>Zuko’s sure that Aang reserves all of the above privileges for people who never tried to kill him. Or kidnapped him. Or threatened to burn his best friends’ village to the ground. Zuko may have, undeservedly, won the Avatar’s friendship, but he could live one thousand lifetimes of atonement, and still not earn the Avatar's heart.</p><p>Aang deserves someone who isn’t the son of a war criminal; even Zuko knows that.</p><p>But it’s been nearly a week since The Incident, as Zuko’s taken to calling it in his head, and, to Zuko’s surprise, Aang hasn’t left.</p><p>Aang has been aggressively not talking about it, though. Their interactions now are—not quite forced, but no longer easy in the way that used to allow Zuko to speak without second-guessing his words. He hadn’t realized how effortless speaking to Aang had been until it suddenly wasn’t anymore.</p><p>To Aang’s credit, he is trying.</p><p>“Morning, Zuko,” he says now as he joins Zuko in the strategy room for their morning tea.</p><p>He’s smiling, but Zuko notes that it’s “Zuko,” as it always is these days. It's never “Sifu” or “hotman” or “Your Fieryness.” Zuko supposes Aang thinks he’s being kind by not leading Zuko on with what might be interpreted as flirtatious pet names, but Zuko wishes things would just go back to how they were.</p><p>“Morning. Don’t forget we have that meeting with the Earth King in an hour.”</p><p>Aang groans. “Do we have to? What’s there to meet about? We got Republic City! We did the thing!”</p><p>He abruptly goes quiet, no doubt remembering the day they “did the thing,” just as Zuko is.</p><p>Zuko doesn’t look at Aang when he replies. “He wants to talk about zoning. Also, the Water Tribe has concerns about cultural representation on the city council.”</p><p>“Ah, well.” Aang rubs a hand over his shaved head. “We might be able to get some help from Katara on that one. She’s coming to stay for a few days, at the end of the week. If that’s OK?”</p><p>Zuko hates, <em>hates</em> that Aang feels like he needs to tack on that request for permission at the end. It’s surely not something he would have done before The Incident.</p><p>“Of course that’s OK. Aang. That’s great.” Zuko smiles at Aang, and Aang offers a genuine smile back.</p><p>For the first time in a week, Zuko feels better. Just slightly.</p><p>Because the one good thing about the terrible Incident is that Aang and Katara are talking again. Zuko had flushed when he realized it was probably gossipping about him that brought them together—not only is the Fire Lord gay, he also has an embarrassing crush on the Avatar, just like half the planet, the poor sap—but he was nonetheless relieved to hear, when Aang told him, that his two best friends were talking again via messenger hawk.</p><p>And now, it seems, Aang feels comfortable seeing Katara in person.</p><p>It’s progress.</p><p>The rest of the week passes surprisingly smoothly. Soon enough, it’s the day of Katara’s arrival. Aang is so nervous about seeing her, he forgets to act weird around Zuko.</p><p>“Do you think she’ll be mad?”</p><p>“Why would she be mad?”</p><p>“I don’t know!” Aang’s really going now; pacing the shoreline where he and Zuko are waiting for Katara’s boat to arrive. “Maybe because I ignored her for months on end! Katara gets mad about a lot of stuff, and that seems like a fairly reasonable thing to be mad about!”</p><p>“Did she sound mad in her letter?”</p><p>“No, but-”</p><p>“Would she be coming to visit you if she was mad?”</p><p>“She probably would, yeah!” Aang says, throwing up his hands. “She’d want to yell at me in person!”</p><p>Zuko privately agrees with Aang on that one, but he’s not about to say so.</p><p>“Look, Aang-”</p><p>But Aang cuts him off with a dramatic gasp. Zuko swears, if he weren’t the Avatar, Aang’s true calling would be the theater.</p><p>“Look!”</p><p>Zuko looks.</p><p>He sees a small ship cruising through the water at an unusually robust speed, far faster than its small blue sails would be able to carry it naturally. Standing out front is Katara, bending the entire goddamn ocean to her will. For a moment, Zuko can’t breathe for her beauty.</p><p>Aang is racing toward her before she can even step onto the shore, and then they’re hugging, clinging to each other, up to their ankles in sea water. It’s one of the purest expressions of love Zuko has ever had the privilege to witness, between two of the people he loves most in this world. He locks the happy scene away in his memory, to be taken out on dark days.</p><p>Then, before Zuko can fully process what’s happening, Katara is hugging him just as fiercely, and whispering in his ear, “Thanks for taking care of him.”</p><p>Zuko feels a rush of shame even as he hugs her back—if only she knew. Instead of offering Aang support, he’d demanded something from him; taken something he clearly wasn’t ready to give, least of all to Zuko.</p><p>His face hot, Zuko pulls away from the hug sooner than he normally would.</p><p>“Welcome back,” Zuko says, not quite meeting her eyes.</p><p>She shoots him a brief but piercing look. Then she loops her arm around his neck, and grabs Aang under her elbow with the other, pulling the three of them together. But Zuko knows that look—he’s not getting out of talking to Katara about this. Shit.</p><p>“The gang’s all here,” she says happily.</p><p>“Except for Sokka, Suki, and Toph,” Aang points out. Zuko notices he does not mention Teo.</p><p>“Actually, they might be coming in a week or so. I might have hinted to them that a reunion might be fun.” Katara lets go of Aang and Zuko, and turns toward the ship. “Now which of you big, strong men is going to help me carry my bag?”</p><p>Zuko stares, sharing an identical dumbfounded look with Aang. Katara’s muscles rival theirs, and not one in six years of knowing her has Zuko ever heard her ask anyone to carry something for her.</p><p>Katara looks between the two of them and bursts out laughing. “I’m just messing with you! Man, you guys are gullible. Your faces!”</p><p>She hoists her large knapsack over her shoulder and heads toward the royal palace without looking back. Aang and Zuko, now sheepish, have no choice but to follow.</p><p>It’s almost exactly like old times. Over dinner, the three of them talk and laugh and gossip—apparently, Toph is casually dating one of her students, she’s only a few years older, but still—and it’s miraculously not at all awkward.</p><p>Aang is laughing and teasing Zuko just like he always did. He even slips in a “hotman,” which has the unfortunate effect of lighting Zuko’s insides on fire. He flushes before he can stop himself, and he catches Aang’s cheeks turning pink in response.</p><p>Katara looks curiously between them, but Zuko hurriedly changes the subject, and thankfully, she drops it.</p><p>But beyond that snafu, it’s just a regular night with his friends. Maybe, Zuko thinks, maybe,<em> maybe</em> he hasn’t ruined everything. Maybe he’ll never have exactly what he wants with Aang, but maybe he’ll have his friendship. And he’ll have Katara’s friendship. For someone who grew up with only one real friend in the world, that’s more than enough.</p><p>After dinner, Katara and Aang disappear for a walk together. Zuko is more than happy to give them their space. He retreats to his office for a sorely needed catch-up on work. He’s fallen drastically behind on a number of things while he and Aang have been wrapped up in Republic City. As important as that is, he still has a nation to run.</p><p>By the time Zuko emerges, hours later, it’s pitch dark outside. The palace is quiet, everyone in bed—or so Zuko assumes until he sees the glow of firelight coming from the sitting room.</p><p>He finds Katara there, alone, curled up with a book on what Zuko has come to think of as his armchair.</p><p>“You’re up late,” Zuko says, taking the chair next to her. (<em>Aang’s chair</em>, his mind supplies unhelpfully.)</p><p>Katara looks up, smiles, and closes her book.</p><p>“Actually, I was hoping to talk to you.”</p><p>“Sure,” Zuko says, far more casually than he feels. He knew this was coming. He supposes it was too much to hope that Katara would just let it go. That’s hardly her strong suit.</p><p>“You and Aang have gotten close,” Katara says cautiously.</p><p>“We’ve both had a little girl trouble recently,” Zuko shoots back, then immediately feels terrible for going too far. He opens his mouth to apologize, but Katara holds up a hand to stop him.</p><p>“And it’s amazing what you two have achieved together,” she continues as if Zuko hadn’t spoken. He really doesn’t deserve her.</p><p>“I just want you to know that if it’s me holding you back from making a move, there’s no need. I think it’s great, really. It’s kind of the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen, actually.”</p><p>She smiles, and Zuko knows that she means it. It only makes him feel worse, because, no, he actually hadn’t considered Katara’s feelings before he tried to shove his tongue down Aang’s throat, but he definitely should have.</p><p>“You have no idea how much I appreciate that Katara,” Zuko says, returning her smiling weakly. “But, uh, it’s not you holding me back. Aang doesn’t feel that way about me.”</p><p>Zuko’s not sure how he expects Katara to react to that—pat him on the back and offer him some sympathy tea, maybe?—but he does know he’s not expecting her to burst out laughing, so loudly that it echoes through the silent palace. She claps her hand over her mouth, stifling the noise. Rude.</p><p>“Glad you find my broken heart so funny,” he snaps, and he didn’t mean to characterize it as a heartbreak, exactly, only that’s what it feels like, and he hates being laughed at, especially when he feels a little bit like crying right now.</p><p>Katara’s eyes go wide, and all traces of laughter evaporates from her face. “Oh my god, you’re serious, aren’t you?”</p><p>Zuko says nothing, doesn’t look at her, too busy focusing on blinking the tears in his eyes away. God dammit.</p><p>“Zuko, I’m so sorry. I genuinely am not laughing at you. I just– I thought you were joking. Aang definitely likes you like that. Like, <em>definitely</em>.”</p><p>Zuko whips his head around, heart pounding. “Did he tell you that? Is that what you talked about?”</p><p>“Well- not exactly but-”</p><p>Zuko’s heart sinks, his excitement dimming just as quickly as it came. “Then you’re mistaken. He’s not interested.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“I tried to kiss him, OK?” Zuko’s too loud, he knows he’s being too loud. But he can’t take any more of this. He needs it to be done. “I tried to kiss him, and do you know what he did? He practically knocked down a wall trying to get away from me. He’s not. Interested.”</p><p>He falls silent, glaring at Katara, daring her to disagree. She looks… confused.</p><p>“Zuko, are you sure that-”</p><p>“Katara, please,” and it must be something in his wrecked voice, because Katara snaps her mouth shut. She looks at Zuko for a long moment and then sits back with a small nod. Zuko feels his body sag with relief, and lets his head drop into his hand.</p><p>“OK,” she says. “OK. I really am trying to stop meddling. I’ll stop.”</p><p>Zuko hears her get up. He doesn’t lift his head to watch her go.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“For what it’s worth…”</p><p>Zuko looks up. Katara hesitates, opens her mouth to say something, but visibly changes her mind.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she says finally. Zuko nods, not trusting himself to speak. He will be OK. He will be. Just… not just yet.</p><p>With one last sympathetic glance, Katara leaves, and Zuko is, once again, alone.</p><hr/><p>Zuko wakes up the next day determined to get things back to normal. So Aang rejected him. So Katara knows about it. Fine. The worst had happened, now it was time to move on. Or at least it was time for Zuko to pretend to move on, anyways. He’d work on the whole pining-after-his-best-friend-who-doesn’t-want-him-back thing. He would.</p><p>Aang is twitchy at breakfast. He hardly seems to notice when he knocks over his glass of juice—juice that had been freshly squeezed that morning, from the fruit that grew in the royal gardens, Zuko might add—and he doesn’t thank Katara when she bends the juice back into his glass. His eyes dart keep darting between the two of them anxiously.</p><p>After a few tense, quiet moments, Katara huffs a sigh and clears her plate. It’s only when she starts putting on her boots that Zuko realizes that she’s leaving.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Zuko does his best to keep the panic out of his voice. But she’s really going to abandon him? Now? Her presence is the only thing keeping things semi-normal between him and Aang.</p><p>“Shopping,” she says brusquely. “I promised Sokka I’d get him a bag. He already lost the one he bought when he was here.”</p><p>“Do you want some-” Zuko starts to say, but she’s already out the door. “-company,” he finishes lamely.</p><p>He and Aang lock eyes, then both look away.</p><p>God Zuko can’t <em>stand</em> this. He casts around desperately for a conversation topic that will get them back on sure footing.</p><p>“Well,” Zuko says, staring at his plate, “I guess we should probably talk about-”</p><p>“Actually,” Aang interrupts, “Can whatever it is you want to talk about wait? I’m kinda busy today.”</p><p>Zuko looks up; Aang is clearing his plate just as quickly as Katara was. He frowns. He’d been hoping to get Aang’s opinion on the Water Tribe’s proposal for a city-funded heritage center. They need to go over the details before tomorrow’s meeting.</p><p>“Alright. But we should talk about it sooner rather than later,” Zuko says. “Can you come by my office later today? When you’re done with your stuff?”</p><p>For some reason, this makes Aang grimace. “Yeah. No. You’re right. OK.”</p><p>“Just…” Aang takes a deep breath as if he’s steeling himself for battle. He picks up his staff, examining the wood. It’s only a few years old. Aang replaces them every so often—a hazard of the job, Zuko supposes. “Just... go easy on me, OK?”</p><p>And then he’s out the door, flying toward the horizon before Zuko can ask what he means.</p><p>Zuko doesn’t get much work done that morning, too distracted anticipating the moment Aang will walk through his office door. He’s not an idiot—clearly, Aang misinterpreted his request for a conversation. Clearly, he thinks Zuko wants to discuss the mortifying topic they’ve both been avoiding: Aang rejecting his advances.</p><p>In fact, that’s the last thing Zuko wants. He would happily go to his grave before ever having that conversation, thanks.</p><p>What Zuko can’t make sense of, though, is why Aang would tell Zuko to “go easy on him.” Zuko’s the one who had his heart broken. If anything, Zuko thinks—just a tad petulantly—that he ought to be the one begging Aang for mercy. (But Zuko knows he would never have to. Aang has, and always will be, merciful towards Zuko, even when he didn’t deserve it. That’s the kind of man Aang is.)</p><p>It doesn’t matter. Zuko will bring up the heritage center when Aang gets here, Aang will realize his mistake, and they can go back to never talking about Zuko’s misplaced feelings again.</p><p>The sun has nearly set by the time Aang knocks and then sweeps into the room before Zuko can tell him to come in. In fact, he’s already talking before Zuko can say a single word.</p><p>“OK, look.” Aang starts pacing, agitated. “I thought all day about what I’m going to say, and I want to say it before you start saying something nice and understanding about my feelings and sexuality, OK? I know you see me as a little brother and I know you’re just trying to look out for me, and I love that about you. Really.</p><p>Alarm bells start going off in Zuko’s head. “Uh, Aang-”</p><p>“No, let me finish. I’ve been thinking about this all week and I think I know what you’re going to say: That it’s normal to have a crush, and it will go away in time. Right? But,” and Aang’s eyes go fierce, locking Zuko with his gaze, “You should know Katara said that exact same thing to me, way back in the early years, and she was wrong. I may not have totally understood the implications of the word, and I didn’t know anything about my sexuality, but it wasn’t a crush. I loved her. And I still do. Even when I was a kid, I didn’t do crushes. I love fully, with my whole heart, and what I feel about you isn’t a crush, Zuko. It’s love.”</p><p>Zuko’s vision swims. He feels like his body is on fire and frozen in ice at the same time. Aang is still talking.</p><p>“I know I made you uncomfortable the other night and I know I’m probably making it worse now, and I’m sorry—you honestly don’t even know how sorry I am. But I can’t lie to myself, and I can’t lie to you either. And honestly, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t diminish my feelings.”</p><p>He shoots Zuko a stern look, as if Zuko were about to reprimand him. As if Aang isn’t upending Zuko’s very existence. As if he isn’t fundamentally rewriting every fiber of Zuko’s being, with the words he is saying. And, oh, he’s <em>still</em> talking.</p><p>“Because the fact is, even though both you and Katara treat me like one, I’m not a child anymore. I’m a man. A man who understands his own feelings. I’m sorry about the uh, drunken advances thing. That will never happen again, I promise. I’ll go away if you need some space, I understand that. I want to stay friends with you, but if you’re waiting for me to get over it, I gotta be honest, I’m not sure that I ever will. I love you too much. And I’ve felt this way for a long time. Longer than I even realized. I don’t think that’s going to change any time soon. So, uh… sorry.”</p><p>With that, it seems, Aang finally runs out of steam. He leans with both arms on the back of the chair in front of Zuko’s desk. He looks mildly abashed, but not nearly as mortified as any normal person might look after baring the most vulnerable parts of their soul to the object of their affection. If anything, he looks expectant—he’s not ashamed of his feelings, or sorry for them.</p><p>Zuko loves him so much.</p><p>He slowly gets up from behind his desk and approaches, until he’s standing face to face with Aang, separated only by the chair between them. Aang looks at him curiously. Zuko’s head is spinning. His skin is crackling.</p><p>“So. Uh. Wait.” Zuko clears his throat. He’s so much worse at this than Aang is. “You… like me? You want to… be with me?”</p><p>Aang’s face falls. For the first time since entering Zuko’s office, he looks embarrassed. “Is that not what… I thought, uh…” He tries again. “Did you... not know that?”</p><p>Zuko shakes his head. He feels as if he so much as breathes, he’ll light the room aflame.</p><p>“...Right. I’ll just go freeze myself in another iceberg, then, great chatting with you, see in you in another hundred y-oomf.”</p><p>Zuko cuts off whatever dumb thing Aang was trying to say with his lips.</p><p>Aang kisses back with an immediacy and intensity that catches Zuko off guard. He curls his hands into fists to stop himself from grabbing Aang and pulling him against him. He still doesn’t entirely trust that his hands aren’t going to spontaneously combust—something that hasn’t happened since Zuko was an out-of-control child, but he kind of feels like an out-of-control child right now.</p><p>Aang, it seems, has no such qualms about manhandling Zuko. He wraps Zuko up in his arms, and then Zuko feels a gust of wind blow him up into the air, straight into Aang’s embrace. Zuko yelps in surprise, legs automatically wrapping around Aang’s waist to keep himself from toppling over. Aang’s strong arms wrap around him securely in an instant, but the chair goes crashing to the ground.</p><p>Zuko pulls back to glare at Aang. He’s not sure how well he pulls it off, given that his head is still spinning. The airbender’s eyes sparkle, partly with mischief, but mostly with pure, unrestrained joy.</p><p>“Sorry, Sifu,” Aang says, not sounding sorry at all. “Couldn’t resist. I’m just so happy.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Zuko grins, and he’s unable and unwilling to stop himself from kissing Aang again. “Me too.”</p><hr/><p>
  <em>A few weeks later</em>
</p><p>Zuko wakes up to the sensation of hair tickling his face. He smiles without opening his eyes.</p><p>“You know it’s creepy when you breathe on me, right?”</p><p>“Please.” Zuko feels Aang’s lips hovering just below his ear, his breath hot like fire. “You love it.”</p><p>Zuko doesn’t respond, because he does love it, and they both know it. He loves it less, however, when Aang blows a quick gust of air directly into his ear.</p><p>“Argh!” Zuko jolts up in bed to get away, while Aang cackles. He is, Zuko notes, already dressed. Zuko is in nothing but his underwear, as always. It’s his preferred way to sleep, and he’s certainly heard no complaints from Aang, whose eyes linger on Zuko’s chest now. Zuko has to look away before he completely derails their day.</p><p>It’s been a few weeks since Aang confessed his love to Zuko, but he’s still not used to Aang looking at him like that—with hunger, with desire. Zuko never knew how much Aang had been holding back around him until he suddenly wasn’t anymore. It turns out he was holding quite back a lot, actually. It’s intoxicating, being the center of Aang’s romantic attention. Zuko doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of it.</p><p>Unfortunately, he knows his advisors will be expecting him. They were probably expecting him 30 minutes ago if Zuko’s honest. He’s been late more times this week than he’s ever been in his life put together.</p><p>“When is Toph coming?” Zuko asks, getting out of bed and hurrying to find some robes suitable for a day of royal ruling and a night of royal partying. Aang lolls about on Zuko’s bed, clearly in no rush to start his day.</p><p>“Not until tonight.”</p><p>“That might be the next time I see you too, unfortunately.” Zuko fastens his ornate belt around his waist. “Somehow I got very behind this week…”</p><p>Aang pouts. “Can’t a guy at least get a birthday kiss from his boyfriend?”</p><p>Zuko’s stomach swoops. It’s not the first time Aang’s used the word, though, by Zuko’s request, he only says it when they’re alone.</p><p>Zuko needs a little time to figure out the practical logistics of the Fire Lord dating the Avatar, not to mention some time to emotionally process that idea himself. Aang has had no problem keeping things private, nor has he pushed Zuko for any confessions or commitment. But he also hasn’t hesitated to confess his only feelings, sincerely and routinely.</p><p>“Today’s not your birthday,” Zuko says now, quickly brushing his hair into a high bun.</p><p>“No, but today is my birthday<em> party</em> day, which basically means today is my birthday.”</p><p>“Well, when you put it that way…”</p><p>Zuko crowds into Aang’s space on the bed, holding himself up with one arm. For a moment he hovers over Aang without actually touching him. They are almost exactly the same height. (Aang would argue that he is taller, but Zuko would argue that his bun counts toward his height—it’s a part of his body, isn’t it?)</p><p>Then he dips his head down to Aang's and kisses him. <em>Really</em> kisses him. Aang groans and kisses back, tongue darting into Zuko's mouth, though he keeps his hands to his sides. He doesn’t close his eyes, and Zuko loves this about him. He stares right into Zuko's soul and lets himself be kissed senseless into the bed, until Zuko finally pulls back, chest heaving.</p><p>“Wow,” Aang breathes. “Happy birthday to me.”</p><p>Zuko laughs, out of breath for more reasons than one. He turns to the mirror to undo all the damage he’s just done to his put-together appearance.</p><p>“I think you looked better before,” Aang informs him after Zuko’s managed to straighten his hair and will his cheeks back to a normal color. “But the royal look is hot, too.”</p><hr/><p>By the time Zuko gets to the party, it’s in full swing. They’ll have an intimate event later, just for their close friends, but Zuko knows Aang—whatever he may say to the contrary—loves being the center of attention. And Zuko loves making Aang happy. So he threw a giant party in the town square in honor of the Avatar’s 20th birthday, and he invited pretty much everyone.</p><p>“Well hey there, handsome.”</p><p>Zuko smiles. It’s a voice he hasn’t heard in a while, and he’s pleasantly surprised to find he’s nothing but happy to hear it now.</p><p>“Hi, Mai.” He hugs her tightly. He pulls back to look at her—she looks older, a little softer than Zuko’s used to seeing her. Happier, maybe, too. “Where’s Ty Lee?”</p><p>“Flirting with your royal guards.”</p><p>Zuko raises an eyebrow. “Should I be worried?”</p><p>“Probably.” Mai, by contrast, sounds utterly unconcerned. “But I thought I’d take the rare opportunity to catch you alone. You and Aang are attached at the hip these days.”</p><p>“Yeah, well.” Zuko self-consciously rubs the back of his neck and forces a smile. So far, the only person they’ve told is Katara, because neither of them knows how to keep a secret from her, and because they knew she would get it immediately. Zuko’s less certain how their other friends will take the news. It doesn’t make hiding from them any easier, though.</p><p>“Aang’s pretty great,” he says finally.</p><p>“My, how times have changed,” Mai says, not unkindly. “You look good. Happy.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Zuko says, and this time, his smile is genuine. “I am.”</p><p>“Good.” They lock eyes for a moment, and Zuko remembers how much he once loved her. He probably still loves her, at least a little bit, but it feels quieter now. Distant.</p><p>Then the moment is promptly ruined by a familiar voice.</p><p>“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite Fire Lord,”</p><p>Zuko laughs. “And exactly how many Fire Lords do you know, Toph?”</p><p>“Pretty much just you and Ozai.” She punches him, then hugs him. “You’re definitely my favorite. Oh, hey gloomy girl.”</p><p>Mai looks uncomfortable. She’s always been weird around Toph. Zuko’s never understood why.</p><p>“Hey. Uh, I better go find Ty Lee. Before she actually sleeps with your royal guard.”</p><p>Mai shoots Zuko one last look over Toph’s shoulder and leaves.</p><p>“What was that about?” Zuko wonders as he pulls back from the embrace, rubbing the arm where she punched him.</p><p>“Oh, she’s probably still pissed that I kissed her girlfriend.”</p><p>“You <em>what</em>?”</p><p>“It was before they got together,” Toph says defensively. “And it was barely even a peck. Trust me, if that spin-the-bottle game had been two years later, I would have <em>really</em> laid one on her. Home girl got off easy.”</p><p>“When did you– you know what, never mind. Have you seen Aang?”</p><p>“Gee, good to see you too,” Toph says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “It’s only been, what, over a year?”</p><p>“Well, maybe if you came to visit more often...”</p><p>“Hey, I don’t go out on the ocean for just anyone. Luckily,” she says, raising her voice, her eye catching something behind Zuko, “You dorks aren’t just anyone.”</p><p>Zuko turns and sees Aang—<em>finally</em>—with Katara, Sokka, and Suki close behind. But Zuko only has eyes for Aang. He really needs to get ahold of himself. It’s only been a few hours, after all.</p><p>But Aang seems to be in a similar state of my mind. He doesn’t hesitate to hug Zuko, holding him just close enough to hurt a little.</p><p>“Happy birthday,” Zuko murmurs in his ear.</p><p>“Took you long enough,” Aang whispers back.</p><p>“Wow,” Katara says as they pull back, “When’s the last time we were all together like this?”</p><p>“Probably that time Sokka got us kicked out of that restaurant in Omashu for serenading the customers,” Suki grins, her arm tight around Sokka.</p><p>“I thought it was a karaoke bar,” Sokka says with a shrug.</p><p>“Yeah, right,” Toph scoffs. “Just like you thought all those sake shots were water, I’m sure.”</p><p>Aang laughs. “I love you guys. Promise me we won’t go this long without getting together again. And thanks for the party, Zuko. It’s perfect.”</p><p>He looks at Zuko, and Zuko feels years of love radiating from that gaze, surrounded by the people he's proud to call his friends, all thanks to a 13-year-old kid who managed to save the world.</p><p>“Anything for you,” Zuko tells him, and he means it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that's it! (Maybe a sexy bonus scene to come, but clearly, I should not make promises.) Not beta'd, so all mistakes are my own. Feel free to flag them for me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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